Cartoon Appendages..

Published February 2, 2011 by Claire

‘S funny stuff, fat. It seems to land in the strangest places.

I was playing with my nose the other day (as you do) and you know, I’m quite sure it’s got fatter. I even asked a friend, who looked at me as though I’d just sprouted an extra head; whether she thought my nose was fatter. She says not, but I reckon it is. I can just see me ending up with a conk the size of Slough.

According to this article by some people with Ologies, my nose cannot be growing but it may be heading south. That’s not particularly reassuring. But, when they say ‘not growing’, do they necessarily include ‘not storing leftover cake fats’ in that?

I’m quite sure ears keep growing throughout your life. I sat next to an elderly chap on the bus once and I kid you not, I hung onto the seat in front for the entire journey for fear of plummeting into his enormous BFG-style ears.

Maybe if I massage my nose daily, the fats will disperse and travel around my body, finally settling somewhere more useful. Like the chest – extra padding there is never a bad thing…

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