Trips, dips, and sulky lips…

Published January 29, 2011 by Claire

It’s 7.45am and I write from the desk of a London hotel room, where I have been rudely awakened by Amanda’s idea of a suitable alarm. I ask you, who wants to be roused from their slumbers by the dulcet tones of a rabid rottweiler? To add insult to injury, if one doesn’t leap out of one’s warm and cosy pit immediately, some seven minutes later it recommences the assault – only this time it seems to be a rabid duck!

It’s been a fabulously fun and frolicsome couple of days, during which I have been lucky enough to meet a couple of lovely new chaps (and a dog) and also to renew my acquaintance with a couple of old favourites – mmm lovely! Of course, there have also been a couple of Larry Letdowns (borrowed that phrase from my mother, let me know what you think. If you don’t like it I’ll give it back.); because after all this is London and time wasters seem to congregate here in the most enormous numbers. I shall never understand the concept of making an appointment, asking the lady in question to schlep a special outfit 120 miles, and then failing to turn up to appreciate her wearing it.

But all in all, I’ve had a great time. There have been some Kodak moments, too – the moment we arrived in the hotel room for example, and Amanda walked over to look out of the window. The secondary glazed window that is, the one with the deep recess and the secondary glazing at the front of the recess rather than at the back. The ‘clunk’ as cranium connected with glass was beautiful. I was hysterical with laughter – but she took that hysterical laughter to a new level when a few minutes later I did the exactly the same thing!

Then there was the moment in the Post Office when, having politely stood back to let approximately thirty thousand people shove past me, not one of whom bothered to offer any thanks, I said loudly to Amanda “I think I’m too fucking polite for London!” I marched off to the counter and when I got back she’d found a very handsome young man from ‘oop North’ who’d heard my explosion and agreed heartily! We spent a few enjoyable moments discussing the horrors of London and then went our separate ways – which I confess I have been regretting ever since. He was a very handsome young man..

Last night we went out for dinner with a friend and found ourselves in an Indian restaurant. Now usually the service in Indian restaurants is exemplary, but this one was striking out and daring to be different.  From the fifteen minute wait for drinks at the start, to the moment the waiter flung Amanda’s cutlery onto the table from a distance of around three feet, to the forty-five minute delay between starter and main course – this restaurant was dire! We entertained ourselves, however, by playing ‘Dip Roulette’ – the four dips having come in a spinning carousel. The rules were very simple, you span the thing wildly and when it eventually came to rest you had to take a spoonful of whatever was closest to you. Three of the dips were hot, hot, HOT – and I confess I bottled it completely when it was my turn and had mango chutney. Sadly, we only had time for one round before they spotted our bad behaviour and confiscated the dips 😦

I’m now off to spend a couple of days in Leeds with a friend before heading home on Monday, so normal service will be resumed then. Mwah!

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