I’m thinking of appearing on Dragon’s Den – I’ve got a cracking idea for mothers of teenage daughters which I’m absolutely sure will make me an overnight millionaire.
What you do, right (ready for this?) is you get a steel grid and you fix it to the wall of your bedroom using some kind of permanent, non-reversible method. Maybe you cement it in or something (I’m going to need an engineer to help with the finer details). Then you get some lengths of heavy-duty chain and you weld one end of each length of chain to your steel grid.
You then get everything you hold dear – absolutely everything that matters to you, such as tweezers, hairbrush, makeup, hairdryer, dammit even your knickers if you and the teenage daughter are the same size – and you make a small hole in each item through which you pass a steel ring, which you then attach to the end of one of your lengths of chain and weld closed.
All you have to do after that is keep your daughter away from wire cutters and hey presto! Everything you need will be where you left it!
Can you tell Stig has been raiding my room again?