The Life of Brian

Published November 5, 2010 by Claire

I’m sure most of you will know the classic Monty Python film of this name, but I’m afraid the ‘very naughty boy’ is not the comedic character I have in mind today.

Today’s court jester is a poster currently using the name ‘Brian’ on UKPunting  (usually when mentioning another site I’d pop a link in to facilitate your browsing, but in this instance it would be like posting a link to a picture of a rotting corpse so – Google is your friend). I say ‘using the name of Brian’ because his username on Punternet was ‘Interested’ and despite claiming that ‘Interested’ was a fictional character who existed solely for the purpose of trolling the board and winding people up, our Brian has singularly failed to slip off his ‘Interested’ mantle now he’s settled in his new home.

Now, I am banned from UKPunting after telling one of the Moderators that he was a ‘patronising wee shite’, which quite rightly earned me a slap on the wrist. Being an arsey cow I squawked ‘Ban me then’ and their benevolent dictator did just that. Serves me right, eh what?

Yesterday I rejoined under a different name to challenge a post made by someone who had never met me, calling me a ‘fat slob’. Yes, I know, one should rise above these petty irritations, but slob? Really? No. Fat yes, heck, I make a bloody career out of that, but I’m no slob.

When I posted to make this point clear, dear Brian almost pee’d himself with excitement. I could practically hear him hammering away at his keyboard as he tapped out the message ‘You have been banned from this site therefore you are not welcome here!!’ Bless him, he’d so love to be a Moderator but surely even Nik must be irritated by Brian’s tongue in his botty by now – I suspect he has the words ‘Excellent post, Nik’ and ‘Nik has done an excellent job in setting this new board up’ engraved on his poor weary eyeballs.

I pointed out that strictly speaking, my ban had been self-induced, prompted by the words ‘ban me then’, but it was too late, he was in full squeak about how I and Ghenghis had ‘ruined Punternet’ and were the sole reason 175 people had apparently left PN to join UKP. I sadly missed my opportunity to point out that of their 175 members, 70% are inactive and of the remaining 30%  the majority are either spammers, banned from PN or are in fact using both sites.

I say missed my opportunity because of course when I got up this morning I had been banned again from UKP, but Brian is still storming around repeating ad infinitum that I ‘ruined Punternet’.

So, Brian my precious 😉 here’s an invitation for you. Why not write me a little essay stating all the numerous things you believe I personally did that have ruined Punternet? It will be a nice little task to keep you busy over the weekend, while I’m away having a social life with my friends. Friends, dearie. People who like you and choose to spend time with you. You understand the concept, I’m sure, even if the actuality evades you.

Have it in my email inbox by Monday morning and do try not to ejaculate on your keyboard in your frenzy, won’t you?

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