Annoying question of the day #1:
‘Will u go on top?’
Perhaps not, strictly, an annoying question as it stands. I mean, after all, if that question were presented during an intimate encounter it would seem quite reasonable, and not annoying at all. But it wasn’t. It was presented in a text message, and it was the follow-up to ‘Seen ur site want to book u’.
I have this ‘thing’ about text-speak. It frustrates, annoys and infuriates me. I can see the point of it if one is sending an extremely long text message and wishes to cut down on the cost. But when the sum total of one’s literary output is seven words, surely it’s not too much to ask for each of these seven words to be presented in full? And ‘will u go on top’ as a secondary enquiry, before any introduction or pleasantry, is just AAAAARRRGGGHHH.
And – speaking of AAAAARRRGGGHHH – here’s Annoying Question of the Day #2:
‘You won’t come dressed as a prostitute, will you?’
Different guy. This guy had gone through all the usual formalities, introduction, booking request, information needed for appointment – and then out of the blue he wings me with ‘You won’t come dressed as a prostitute, will you?’.
I assume he meant six-inch perspex pole-dancing heels with matching six-inch perspex skirt, topped with fur coat.
I save that outfit for church on Sundays.