I planned a lie-in this morning. It didn’t happen. This is one of the reasons:
This is the other:
They look nice, don’t they? They look like well-behaved, civilised dogs.
So why the heck do they get up so damned early?
Picture this: I’m asleep in my boudoir, wearing an alluring silk and lace peignoir, my hair fanned out across the satin pillowcases in an attitude of graceful repose, my cheeks gently flushed with the bloom of sleep. I am sleeping in a very lady-like manner. There is no dribbling or snoring. Despite what you may have been told.
A dark shadow falls across my face. There is the sound of heavy breathing. As the visitor gazes upon my sleeping form, the breathing quickens. It becomes more urgent, until it becomes more panting than breathing, but still I don’t stir. Eventually the intruder can hold back no more – and clubs me across the face with a large, hairy paw complete with claws that could do with a trim..
Yes, that’s my Collie’s idea of a gentle morning greeting. It usually translates as “Get up NOW! I need to go for a wee NOW! And, during the night, I think I heard burglars in the garden but you were asleep so I just hid under the bed, please can you go and see if my squeaky bone is still there?”